Drunk 4 Year Old, In Drag, Steals Neighbor's Xmas Presents

His 21 year old mom is divorcing his dad, who's in jail for the Holidays.

http://www.newschannel9.com/news/year-987196-old-christmas.html

I Am What I Et.

I impulsively bought a 10lb smoked ham for dinner, because it was on sale. I thought "smoked" also meant cooked, but when I got it home, I realized I had to cook it for four hours. When it was finally done, I was real hungry, and ended up eating way too much of it. I am now overstuffed, lethargic, and out of sorts. I guess a pig would go to bed, and so must I.