Craig's List Post Of The Week
Apr. 27th, 2005 11:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
robbyDo you give good breakup?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: anon-70585546@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-04-27, 10:38PM PDT
I don't give a good goddamn what your interests are, how much money you make, or what you fucking look like. I just want to know this: do you have amicable-parting skills?
My record for disappeared people is worse than that of any Latin American country. In order to avoid an FBI probe, I'm looking for a man who can provide at least an email or phone call before he fucking leaps off the face of our rapidly-spinning planet.
The last skinny-ass cowardly girly boy who vanished without a trace is, as God is my witness, the last one I let get away without some kind of forcible confrontation. If you want to date me, come prepared with advanced closure skills or I will hunt you down and make you wish Craig never learned HTML.
I don't give a flying fuck if you "just aren't that into me," tell me to my face or I'll whip your candy pansy-ass into a Jello dessert frenzy. My friends are already suspicious regarding the whereabouts of various "exes" and the coincidental blossoming of my incredibly lush backyard garden. A little more fertilizer won't make much difference, if you understand my meaning.
If you don't give notice of your departure, you have two choices. You die in my devoted arms (and I plan to live to be 105, whereas your average life span is only 78, so even calculating for a reasonable age differential, I'll outlive your sorry ass) or you die under highly questionable circumstances.
I enjoy hiking, reading, movies, and Indian food.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: anon-70585546@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-04-27, 10:38PM PDT
I don't give a good goddamn what your interests are, how much money you make, or what you fucking look like. I just want to know this: do you have amicable-parting skills?
My record for disappeared people is worse than that of any Latin American country. In order to avoid an FBI probe, I'm looking for a man who can provide at least an email or phone call before he fucking leaps off the face of our rapidly-spinning planet.
The last skinny-ass cowardly girly boy who vanished without a trace is, as God is my witness, the last one I let get away without some kind of forcible confrontation. If you want to date me, come prepared with advanced closure skills or I will hunt you down and make you wish Craig never learned HTML.
I don't give a flying fuck if you "just aren't that into me," tell me to my face or I'll whip your candy pansy-ass into a Jello dessert frenzy. My friends are already suspicious regarding the whereabouts of various "exes" and the coincidental blossoming of my incredibly lush backyard garden. A little more fertilizer won't make much difference, if you understand my meaning.
If you don't give notice of your departure, you have two choices. You die in my devoted arms (and I plan to live to be 105, whereas your average life span is only 78, so even calculating for a reasonable age differential, I'll outlive your sorry ass) or you die under highly questionable circumstances.
I enjoy hiking, reading, movies, and Indian food.
